Who is who in the Maua Gang
Let Jimmy bark and bite, and Frankie stands in the limelight, enjoying the fine chaos he’s created. Like a master of puppets, he orchestrates and oversees it all. The mayhem and debauchery. Ah, yes. It’s good to be the notorious boss of the Maua Gang. Perhaps that’s why he’s a devil of few words, only reserving them for those throwdown kingpin moments when his voice is the last one you’ll ever hear.
Do yourself a favour. Never, ever tell Jimmy Chew he’s got more bark than bite. Or you just might find yourself nursing some pretty serious wounds. He’s got one job to do – be loyal to Frankie. Of course, that job entails barking, biting, and sometimes even licking the opposition to please his best friend from childhood.
Always on command, if Frank Evil says, “Jump,” Jimmy is in the air, paws up and ready to roll. Don’t let his sweet baby face fool you. He might look like the soft and cuddly type, but he’ll turn on you faster than you can utter the words “Maua Gang.”
Just know this…if you see Jimmy Chew playing ball in the streets with his faithful accomplice Eddie Mad Dog, he’s likely running a game of fetch for his boss Frankie. It’s play or be played in the world of the Maua Gang, and if you’re wise, you’ll play dead and let them run along before you get chewed up and spit out from their dark and devious underworld.
Behind every badass gang, there’s an even more badass boss. The godfather. The head honcho. The “don’t-mess-with-dis” man. He’s the strong silent type, and that’s probably for the best. After all, those devilish-bad looks get him everywhere he needs to go and make a statement without ever saying a word.
Frankie, as his entourage calls him, is all about appearance. It’s his right hand, Jimmy Chew that chews you out. Friends from childhood, Frankie can trust Jimmy Chew to do his dirty work. That’s because Jimmy’s got a bigger bite. Frank Evil grins devilishly at his own evil plans. With a wing man like Jimmy, he’s got nothing to say. He knows that the more you talk, the more of you that you allow people to read.
Eddie Mad Dog
How does Jimmy Chew do it all? That’s easy. He’s got Eddie Mad Dog in his corner, a good dog indeed. On the surface, he’s got that one spot you scratch behind his ears that makes him do that leg-shaking thing. But this dog’s as deep as they come, deep with loyalty for the Maua Gang.
When Frankie gives Jimmy orders, Eddie gets to come along too. After all, two dogs are better than one. Eddie has proven his loyalty time and time again. There was that time when the mailman dared to enter the front yard of Frankie’s lair. And then that time with the cat.
Being part of the gang is Eddie’s lifeblood. They all count on him and he knows it. He loves the attention, especially when he hears he’s been a good boy from the boss. Plus, hanging around with Jimmy ain’t so bad either. There’s lots to fetch and chew on for the boss. He don’t get that name “Mad Dog” for nothing though. He can turn from cute and cuddly to rabid in seconds flat.
Rabbit De Niro
Every circle of mobsters has that one guy that hops into action, ready to advise the big boss. And for Frank Evil and his henchmen, that consigliere is Rabbit De Niro. This bunny knows what’s jumpin’. He’s lucky enough to be worshipped by Frankie without being an official member.
But it’s just as well. This bunny means business. If he tells Frankie something’s gotta go down the rabbit hole, then Frankie sends Jimmy to chew things up and spit them out. Rabbit De Niro would never dream of steering them wrong. He’s got a good thing here.
With his big ears, he tunes in to listen intently to other conversations. No one suspects a sweet bunny with a puffy tail, do they? As he listens, his ears twitch when he hears anything about Frankie and the gang. Then he bounces back to the boss with his latest advice. While he’s not an official member, he has his loyalties and he’ll hop all over anyone that tries to test them.
Jo Bunny is somebunny special. She’s the first female in the Maua Gang, the one that all the other members adore. She’s got that sweet and fun streak to her that gets them all gaggling for her attention. But watch out!
She’s not as sweet as she seems. Loyal to the gang, yes, but loyal to just one man? Oh, life is far too short for that. She loves them and leaves them in the dust. She knows better than to play these dangerous games with her crew though. It’s her secret weapon against the opposition.
Jo Bunny uses her looks to reel them in and before they know what hit them, she’s hopped along to the next one. Frankie loves her work, for that façade she puts on is hard to see past for the guys outside the gang. They fall hard and fast, and then they fall for good when Frankie throws his dogs into the fight. Jo can hold her own though, with the face of an angel and the mind of, well, Frankie.
Vinnie Big Porky
Don’t squeal or else Vinnie Big Porky will hunt you down. The token fat guy in the Maua Gang, Big Porky just loves to eat. When he’s not doing business for Frankie, you’ll find him down at Louie Fried Egg’s restaurant, pigging out.
Vinnie is pleased with being porky. There are two things he loves – being in the gang and eating. He does them both quite well and often interrupts meetings to wax philosophical about foods. Nothing’s off the table for this guy, not even bacon. The dude’s hardcore!
If you want Vinnie to show up, make sure there’s food. It’s why the big meetings are always at Louie’s restaurant. Vinnie won’t miss a meal, and it shows. Jimmy and Eddie have had Vinnie step in to clear up a tasty mess. It’s like nothing ever happened. No one will be missed after the big pig comes in to do his dirty work.
This skinny guy came up from Florida not long ago. He was dying to escape the humidity, he said. He might be on the scrawny-looking side, but he sure is strong. And those teeth! He’s got a face that only a mother could love, if only he could find her.
That’s why he’s gone off to the gangs of New York. He’s one of the new guys and Frankie still don’t trust him completely. There’s something evil about a reptile, isn’t there? Frankie shouldn’t talk about evil though. Then again, he doesn’t talk much about anything.
Johnny’s doing a good job of learning the ropes. He’s passing all their tests, chomping at the bit to do more. Vinnie’s not scared of much, but everyone knows he’s scared Johnny will get hungry and snap his jaws closed on him. No one can resist bacon, you know. Johnny’s no fool though. Pork chops taste good, bacon tastes good, but working for Frankie is the taste of delicious evil he’s been searching for his whole life back in the swamps and now he’s found a real family to call home.
To the untrained eye, he’s just a banana. But Joe Bananas is an integral part of the Maua Gang. His laid-back demeaner might make you mistake him for someone that doesn’t care. But that’s just part of Joe Bananas’ vibe.
He’s cool as a cucumber, relaxed as a banana, if there is such a thing. A tropical fruit, this guy knows there’s no sense in rushing into things. In fact, it’s that relaxed way he approaches things that totally trips up Frankie’s enemies. You’d think he doesn’t even have a pulse.
Then, BAM! Action begins and that guy goes epically bananas. He reserves all his energy for when it’s go-time. His appealing approach is one the others envy but no one can quite master it like Joe. His other specialty is slipping people up. They step into his trap and then the rest of the gang takes over and finishes what he started.
Sibling rivalry is one thing, but sibling insanity is another. The Dalton Twins are crazy little brothers indeed. Seems to run in the family. Wide-eyed with maniacal grins, they terrorize the town. Frankie doesn’t say a word, then again, does he ever? With his menacing appearance and the never-ending circle of Dalton Twins, there’s no need.
Who’d mess with that? Calling them twins isn’t very accurate either. There’s quite a few of them out there. Are there more crazy brothers? Or are they just the Dalton Twins in disguise? The world may never know. There could be tens of thousands of them! Fearsome and unholy, these wild ones don’t need an excuse to run amok. The Maua Gang’s craziest members, they’re rowdier than a playground of children after eating baskets of Easter candy.
Maybe they just need a hug. Or maybe they can do your bidding too, driving those who dare to cross you as madly insane as they are. One thing’s for sure…you could go mad yourself trying to keep tabs on them!
Bonnie Red Fox
She’s the second lady in the Maua Gang, though in Eddie Mad Dog’s eyes, she’s the only one. When he looks at her, birds suddenly appear and he gets that funny feeling, like he’d really like to give her one of his bones.
Bonnie is one demure gal. Always flawless, always a bit out of their league. She comes off with that secretarial vibe, yet being a fox, she should never be underestimated for her cunningness. Sharp and quick, Bonnie Red Fox is as fierce as they come when she goes into action. She takes enemies by surprise, largely because they can’t grasp, she’s one of THEM.
Oh, but she is. And sweet as she seems, that crafty girl has lots of plans. Eddie can never me sure if she returns his affections. She keeps him hanging on, just where she wants him. It’s never a bad idea to have men doing your dirty work. Bonnie plays dirty too though. If you ever want to find out, just ask her “What does the fox say?” Then again, better not if you like being alive.
Frank Evil might have his dogs to bark and chew at his beck and call. But when it comes to getting slippery, there’s one guy he calls…Tony Tuna. Slick and sneaky as they come, The Tuna gets called in for dirty business.
If you’re sleezy, he’ll bring the uneasy. Frankie will make you sleep with the fishes, and when he does, you’d better stay on dry land and run for cover. Tony Tuna will be looking for you. It’s why nobody dares to double cross the big boss. You play with matches, you’ll get burned, and you play with Frankie, you’re going into the underworld abyss where Tony Tuna will slap you silly with his tail until you talk.
You can try to catch him all you like, but he’s never met a hook he’ll fall for. The Tuna is the big kahuna, one that knows how to get in and out and still manage to stay off a dinner plate. Frankie loves his work so much he’s given him an aquarium on the Upper East Side. Not a bad life for a stinky fish if you ask us!
Louie Fried Egg
Louie Fried Egg has been a member of the Maua Gang since Frankie created it. He doesn’t have the stomach for the gritty side of it though. That’s why he opened up his restaurant. Besides, the big boss has to have a place to launder the money. And what better place than a restaurant? Everyone’s got to eat, right?
Thought that Vinnie Big Porky is always there, eating up all the food. Good thing the boss pulls in good money. Besides, Vinnie’s a good pig and a loyal one too. He’s always the first to show to meetings at the restaurant, though Louie can’t tell if he’s excited to discuss the evil undertakings at hand or if he wants to hear what the specials of the day are.
Big Porky loves the soup du jour with sides of bacon. Does he know, Louie wonders, but Louie thinks he knows the answer. No one likes a squealer, so he keeps serving up food and keeping watch for anything worth frying someone over.
Nicky Serious Seal
Somebody’s got to do the books, don’t they? Louie’s busy with the restaurant and that leaves Nicky Serious Seal to get down to business. You’d never think this guy was a part of the Maua Gang. A rather dull boy, very serious, and not fun at all. Tony Tuna hates him. He should be slippery and sneaky like he is but instead, he’s always crunching numbers and bringing down the fun factor.
Bookkeepers aren’t ever known as the fun sort, but Nicky does try. It’s not his fault he can’t be witty or ribald like the others. He’s just trying to take care of business, legitimate business. The others can handle that illegitimate stuff.
Sometimes, Nicky dreams he’s using his fins to slap the stuffing out of Tony, but then he wakes up and knows he’d better not indulge his fantasies if he wants to keep working for Frankie. Being the bookkeeper for the gang is a sweet gig and he doesn’t want to blow it getting back at that blow hard.